


One Wrong Decision

by caomoyl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: HPFT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 06:57:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6505798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caomoyl/pseuds/caomoyl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One wrong decision. That’s all that it takes. Choosing to follow hatred over love. Choosing to tell him about the prophecy instead of working out it meant her son. Choosing to switch Secret-Keeper to someone they should have been wary of. Someone who got her killed.</p><p><img/><br/>Big thanks to prometheus @ TDA for the amazing banner!</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Wrong Decision

Another day over. Another day where I had to look at him. Look at him whilst he messed everything up again. He will never be like her. She was always so good. Everyone said so. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that he fails. Him being good like she was would just make it harder; harder for me to keep going day by day. 

But would it make me feel like there was more of a reason for doing this? For defying someone who could kill me in an instant. One moment of weakness. One moment where I let my guard down. The guard that is keeping me and my deepest secret safe. One slip and I die; murdered on the spot for my crimes against his cause. Crimes I wish I didn’t have to commit. But I do…

Why did I do it? Why did I turn to him? I could have had her. I could have married her. We would be safe. She would still be here and it would be my son I would be looking at every day, not his. What made me choose him over her? Why did I let my hatred of the world rule over the one thing that could have saved not only me, but her too. 

One wrong decision. That’s all that it takes. Choosing to follow hatred over love. Choosing to tell him about the prophecy instead of working out it meant her son. Choosing to switch Secret-Keeper to someone they should have been wary of. Someone who was scared of power, scared to die; someone who would tell their secret to save his own skin. Someone who got her killed.

Why does he have to look so much like the idiot? I hate him, I hate him so much. But every time I look into his eyes, everything becomes so much harder. I forget who I am. I forget where I am. I feel like I am back with her, sat by the lake in our first year, back when she still liked me. Back when I wasn’t driven towards him by hatred for everything else. Back when I was normal, when I could be loved, when she could have loved me. 

I hate myself for what I did. How could I tell him? What made me do it? Why didn’t I protect her more? Why did I leave it up to him to help them? Yes, he is the greatest wizard that ever lived, but I shouldn’t have put her life in his hands. It was too precious. But now it’s gone and I’m all alone again. 

The only thing I want right now is to fall asleep in her arms like we used to do over the summer when no one was around. We would climb up hills to the most beautiful spots and watch the sunset as we ate a picnic of whatever we could sneak out of our houses. That’s where it first happened. We were twelve years old, young and free. She kissed me. Just on the cheek, but it filled me up with so much happiness. 

I never returned that kiss. I wish I had. Every time I looked into her eyes I felt like I should, but I could never pluck up the courage. That’s the first thing I think of when I see her eyes. I just wished that they did belong to her. But they don’t. They belong to the boy who lived. The boy with her eyes; Lily Evans’ eyes. The boy who will always be her son…but never mine.


End file.
